mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize