problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
