I think my fart just growled at me.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
