Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
