nut hugger
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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