We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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