You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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