I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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