and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Randomize
