Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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