I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
