People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
