As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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