So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
