turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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