Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
