plz talk dirty to me
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
