I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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