Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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