Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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