We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
