using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
is wine microwaveable?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize