So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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