The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
