everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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