WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize