Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
