i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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