My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
