I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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