kristin has been a bad kristin
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
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