I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
