Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
