1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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