Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
