Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
North Korea, Best Korea!
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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