he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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