So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
