Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I checked into jail on foursquare
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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