You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize