paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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