I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
