guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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