What did we do last night that was yellow?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
