so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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