he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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