Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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