You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
