Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
