But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
there is puke in my bra ... again
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