I just threw up on my dentist
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize