road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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