no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
