he puts the penis in happiness.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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