its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
