i just google imaged poop.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
