The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
