if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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