the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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