So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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