I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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