I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
