I hate your face
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
