how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Randomize
