I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
