Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
