All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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