The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
