i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Randomize
