So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
