i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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