yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize