am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
