i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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