Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
barbara walters just said penis...
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
