If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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