Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
