The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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