well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
