Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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